Top 10 Must See Summer '09 Movies

Well the Summer movie season is almost upon us (for those at home checking their calendars, "Summer movies" generally start the first weekend in May), and as usual there's a ton of potential blockbusters all crowding around this brief period in which the collective genius of Hollywood has decided that the movie-going public emerges from hibernation (leaving stuff like Paul Blart: Mall Cop to clean up in January).  While I may mock the business sense of placing every hope of saving a major corporation's yearly bottom line within an arbitrary span of about 8 weeks, I have always loved Summer movies, and spend most of the year speculating and devouring any information I can find about the upcoming Summer's prospects.  The following is my list of hopes and dreams for what will be playing at multiplexes everywhere in a few short weeks.  And before anyone asks me about the new Woody Allen film or Sundance's indie darling 500 Days of Summer, I'm specifically speaking of popcorn action movies and wacky comedies (i.e. the stuff you can find if you want to see a movie outside of New York and L.A. too).

10 Funny People

Judd Apatow has ruled the comedy roost for several years now and while I must admit, I am starting to find this whole sub-genre a tad stale, the movies under his loose umbrella still make me laugh more than most.  Funny People is only the 3rd movie he's actually directed, so it will definitely be interesting to see if pure Apatow is still as compelling as it was in 2007.

9 G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I was never into G.I. Joe growing up, and lack any nostalgia for the property.  I mean, it was essentially just a 30 minute toy commercial (unlike the profound depth of Ninja Turtles).  Add director Stephen Sommers, who made one of the dumbest summer movies I have ever seen, and you'd expect a recipe for pure crap.  Not so fast.  I seem to remember saying something pretty similar about Michael Bay and Transformers a couple years ago and that movie turned out to be absurd amounts of fun, so I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic on this for now.  Based on the teaser, it looks like they're heading in the right direction.

8 Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Early word from test screenings of the 6th Harry Potter film have been decidedly mixed, but I quite liked Order of the Phoenix and hope that director David Yates can top his battle sequences from that one.  This is really just a warm-up to the 2 part final chapter though.

7 Bruno

The best comedy of the '00s not made by the Apatow pack was of course 2006's Borat, which quickly infested all of pop culture and just as quickly disappeared.  Sacha Baron Cohen's had a few smaller roles since then, but it'll be great to see him return to the limelight and find out if American homophobia is as hilarious as American xenophobia.

6 X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Ouch.  What's a bigger sign of doom for 20th Century Fox?  That a high quality copy of their summer tentpole leaked a whole month early to universally negative reviews (except for that guy they fired) or that a Wolverine movie is only #6 on my must-see list?  That said, I can't pass up a new X-Men movie (yet) and am still holding out hope for a fun, but silly action flick.

5 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

The first Transformers was the very definition of an eye-candy filled popcorn movie (Camaros and Megan Fox, what more do you need?), and with success comes higher budgets which can only be a good thing.  Expecting more of the same, but louder, dumber, and awesomer.

4 Public Enemies

Ok, we are skirting the line of art-film here (Gah, this ain't November!), but Michael Mann's John Dillinger epic should have plenty of thrills and tommyguns, so I think it will more than hold its own against the big explosions.  Oh yeah, it's also a Michael Mann film starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale.  Imagine the Heat bank heist set during the Great Depression and you might forgive this one for not having any robots or mutants.

3 Up

Um, Wall-E.  Next.

2 Terminator: Salvation

Ok, I have to mention this.  What's up with all the colons this year?  No, not that kind (though I suspect we'll see a few of those in Bruno).  Simpler titles next year please.  Some of those aren't even sequels fer chrissakes.  Anyways, the turn-around on this movie has been crazy to watch.  This went from being an unwanted sequel from a director with a dumb name to one of the most anticipated movies of the year.  Was it the phenomenal trailers or that guy getting in Batman's eyeline?  I'm not sure, but both were awesome and I can't freakin' wait to see it now.

1 Star Trek

I've never been a huge Trek-geek but I dig the iconography of it all and fully admit that the holy trinity is pretty badass.  Plus who doesn't love Shatner?  What really has me excited for this one though is the potential to see a new blockbuster series emerge in a time when it seems like all we get is more of the same.  Yeah, it's an old franchise, but we've never seen it done on a major Hollywood scale (ya know, like that other series with "star" in the title).  The movie just screened for the first time last night (after I had nailed down my rankings, ahem) and the reaction has been pretty glowing across the board.  And hey, if it turns out great, maybe they'll give that Chris Pine a part in another sci fi movie that would have other actors green with envy (cough cough wink hint wink).

Exactly what the world needs....

Yes, I have decided to re-join the blogosphere, and am introducing yet another entertainment-focused blog for opinions and rants from a snarky New York resident. In other words, more sand on the beach. What can I say? This is the closest thing to available work right now. Besides these are MY opinions and rants, and they are so much more insightful and clever than everyone else's opinions and rants (Can you tell I had one of those mothers?). I plan on updating this with some semblance of regularity, and in order to keep up the pace I will be focusing on 3 of my mistresses: movies, television, and comics (with potentially some light music coverage too). Anyways, consider yourselves informed/warned that there is a new venue for unfiltered Gregisms on the internet.